Showing posts with label Cheesy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cheesy. Show all posts

Review: The Stuff (1985)

The Stuff (1985) Director: Larry Cohen



I am a cartoonist. I love everything about cartoons and, MOST of the time, I love it when films bend the realms of physics. When I saw that a movie like The Stuff existed, I legitimately got excited. The Stuff had so much potential to be witty AND horrifying if it was executed with a really clever script. It may not have been a 'Horror Classic' but definitely could have been a cult classic. If you can sense where I'm going, you already know that The Stuff did not meet any of my expectations.

THE PLOT

Weird yummy goo erupts from the earth and is discovered by a couple of miners. They taste it and decide to market it because it tastes so good. The American public literally eats up the new dessert sensation now known as the Stuff, but, unfortunately, it takes over the brains of those who eat it.

Industrial spy and former FBI agent David 'Mo' Rutherford is hired by executives of the ice-cream industry to disclose the recipe of the phenomenally successful marshmallow Stuff. With the support of Nicole, the designer of the Stuff's advertising campaign, and a boy named Jason. When Mo discovers the horrible truth about 'The Stuff' he enlists the help of a terrorist group led by whack-job col. Malcolm Spears (played by Paul Sorvino of all people)

The problem with this film is two things: it isn't funny and it isn't scary. If it was unbalanced on either side of the funny/scary spectrum, it may have had some lasting power. Unfortunately, The Stuff is only two words: Boring and Disappointing.

The film REALLY gets dull when Sorvino's character shows up, but we really get off the rails when Garret Morris' character Chocolate Chip Charlie (worst name for a character ever?) shows up. I think he's the comedic relief but because he's not funny, he's really just useless. Besides useless characters, the film is super anti-climatic as it decides to go the Soylent Green route (Tell the world! The stuff is bad!) instead of a good old fashioned man vs Stuff showdown. While a "tell the world!" ending works for films like Soylent Green, a cheesy 80s flick needs a good monster showdown.

What does work? The advertisements for The Stuff on the TVs in the film are really good and clever and is obviously where all the care and attention went. The film is so busy making fun of
food product advertisement that it forgets to be anything but a heavy-handed mess.

Scariest Moment: (spoilers) Garret "Chocolate chip Charlie" Morris succumbs to The Stuff and his body suffers the consequences.

Rating: 1 1/2 pints of Stuff out of 5

- Andrew Megow  @Almegow